I got married without being what you’d call 100% ready. So when a friend of mine recently told me he wonders how I got the courage to tie the know before being set, I wasn’t surprised.
You see, my philosophy right before meeting my wife was that a real muchacho had to be 100% financially stable, with a place to call his own and all his ducks in a row. To some extent you could say I succeeded at that.
I had a stable job, wasn’t broke but not rich either, my relationship with God was on point, I was working on my dreams, well… most of the stuff they ask us to be before marriage.
But deep down I knew my finances couldn’t cover my future wife and I, and I knew it could be so for a painful while longer.
I’m studying a Masters in Mechanical Engineering which means my time and what I can do with it are limited. Although I have achieved much in life, by the time I met my wife, I still hadn’t achieved the social status I’d been gunning for.
So when the time came for me to decide if I’d do life with this girl or wait till I checked all the boxes, I was torn. But here is what untangled things for me.
No matter how much you prepare for anything, you will never be 100% ready. If you’re ever 100% ready before you try anything worth doing, you’re probably trying it too late.
Being ready for the wedding and being ready for marriage are 2 different things.
Why Did I Get Married Before I Was 100% Financially Stable?
Because cash is not a constant.
It goes and comes, depending on your relationship with it.
You could get married rich and loose everything tomorrow. A poor deal, mismanagement or anything. If that happened, you’d be poor married man.
Would you rather be:
- Poor and married to your biggest supporter
- Or poor and married to someone who’d NOT want to stand by you at your worst?
If you ask me, I’d take the first choice.
When I met my wife, I could tell she was everything I had asked God for. I had no idea why she came into my life when my pockets and social status weren’t hollywoodic, but I knew that if I was to start this journey poor, or find myself in financial distress at some point in life, I’d rather have my biggest believer by my side.
What I did not realise at the time, was that she accepted me because of HOW I used my money, not HOW MUCH money I had.
Your Relationship With Money Could Hook You Up.
You know those women who are able to love a pover and see him all the way to success? Yeah, those king-makers. You know one thing they have in common?
They see potential.
Your woman will overlook many things if she sees in you the potential for improvement.
My wife realised while we dated that:
- I wasn’t in debt
- I did not leave beyond my means
- I didn’t promise to buy her things I couldn’t
- I kissed my ego but was in an ego fight with no one
- I worked on improving my financial literacy
- I religiously believed in financial independence
- I met all my basic financial needs
- I was resourceful every time poop hit the fan
Now replace the word “I” with “the family” and tell me why a good woman wouldn’t want that.
Numbers aside, no one who married richer than you was financially ready. There’s always a more expensive wedding gown, a faster car and a house with one more room.
What they were, which I encourage you to be is educated. Education is potential. And potential is the seed of greatness. When you have the seed, the ground to plant it in will usually track you.
Opportunity favours the prepared.
Because of my financial literacy (and hers), my wife and I have been able to weather the storms life throws at us and grow a few dollars taller at the same time.
With The Right Woman, You Will Grow Financially. Sustainably.
The seed I was yesterday is growing sustainably, bearing fruits and seeds of their own. I now have a better house, I am further ahead in my personal projects and I can help more people.
Strangely enough, I do not have a new job or a new source of income yet. My wife’s belief in me and her willingness to live below our means are like water to my seed.
The right partner will inspire you to improve the quality of what you can do with what you have, provided what you have can be grown.
Financial education is a seed. Acquire it.
Parting Words
I wrote this post for people like me. The super motivated guys, the pragmatics, my brothers in arms who believe they must check all the boxes before checking the last one: marriage.
If that’s you, what I want you to keep is that you’ll never be 100% ready for anything worth doing. As much as business is risk, marriage too is.
Just like the right business will grow you if you’re disposed to, marriage with the right person will too.
So if you’re:
- Financially educated
- Have met the right person
- And have all your other seeds covered
…then you could already be ready for marriage.
