No matter how improbable things may look now, I believe you’ll eventually meet that person your heart longs for.
And one thing I’ve learned from my experience and that of those around me is that it will likely happen in a way you didn’t think of.
When I was happily single and silently hopeful, I remember thinking of all the ways in which I could meet my future queen. I thought of church, my social activities and everything under the sun except online dating. Online dating was for losers.
One evening I opened a dating account out of curiosity and only 5 minutes later, my heart recognised the girl I had been praying for.
You just can’t tell what God will use to bring you two together. One thing He’ll surely not use, is inaction. Faith without action is dead.
I believe your significant other is out there, and that of the ways you can cast a wider net to meet him/her, you should try these 5:
1. Consider Online Dating
By this time in human history, there are scores of successful marriages that were born online. What used to be the exception is becoming the rule.
But like anything worth doing, success in this arena won’t just fall on your laps.
On your profile, be very honest about what you want and especially who you are. People tend to conform to their social groups and this is very true about online dating. Often, every girl’s profile sounds the same. For the guys, they all seem to like and be after the same thing. But how true is that, really? Are we really after the same thing?
We’re not.
The profiles I saw when I tried online dating all said the right thing, but only my wife’s profile spoke to me.
Who you are, will speak to and attract the right person. Sure you won’t get many clicks, but would you rather attract just anyone or the one?
Be you, pal. You’re more than enough.
2. Expand Your Geographical Preferences
Rather than a butt grab or a wallet grab, imagine being grabbed by your most vulnerable emotions. Imagine being truly known, underneath the nice clothes and the confident walk. Imagine being emotionally naked, yet loved for being exactly who you are.
Imagine being grabbed by parts of you you didn’t even know existed.
A long distance relationship (LDR) will do that to you.
Since there isn’t much to offer at first but yourself, LDR’s tend to create the kind of deep connection few couples ever get to enjoy. And when the distance finally melts, I know many who blessed the sky for knowing their partner emotionally before anything else.
- Their conflict resolution was natural,
- Communication was smoother,
- And their faithfulness from far made faithfulness from near easier.
For the sake of that alone, I would suggest you expand your geographical preferences on your dating profile.
Don’t trade the comfort of an average, face-to-face relationship now for that of your very best relationship later. If you find someone that lives away from you but is totally worth it, give it an honest try. After consulting God.
See more about this topic more here.
3. Dare To Look Outside Your Race
I couldn’t believe how nearly identical were the values my wife and I shared when we met, as well as our interpretation of them although we grew up 2 worlds apart.
You could think we had the same mother. Plus, it was the first time that I met someone who by default wanted the same things I did, unlike the times I had to convince my partners to see the world the way I did. Funny thing is, my previous partners were of my race and my wife wasn’t.
- A partner of a different race won’t understand you less.
- He/she won’t connect with you less or love you less.
- And he/she won’t hurt you more in an argument.
I’ve had my heart shattered by someone who looked like me.
More than race, consider culture. If you both share a culture of love, then why not? If you both value family, then why not? If you both look to the same things, are both teachable and open to learning from each other’s background, then why not?
Use the stones in your walls to build a bridge. And then a castle.
How?
- On your dating profile, uncheck your race preferences. See what happens.
- On your list of things you want in a partner, cross out race. See what happens.
The mere idea of considering an interracial relationship will stretch the boundaries of your heart and greatly grow you as a person. Sure, it will come with its mountain of challenges, but wouldn’t any other relationship?
God is limited by nothing and could very well bless you with someone of a different pigmentation than you. Don’t cut holes in your net.
4. Take Part In More Social Activities
The person you wish to meet is currently interested in something. She could be part of a bicycle club, an intellectual society or a latin dancing group that’s meeting tonight.
If you go there this evening, you’ll meet her. Even better, you’ll get to meet someone who already shares some common interests with you. That is of course, if you enjoy riding bicycles.
The beauty in being part of social activities YOU LIKE is that
- It exposes you to more like-minded people,
- It reduces your chances of not liking what your girl likes,
- And helps you develop your social skills.
Plus, the meeting between two active people almost always produces less tension than that between social opposites.
So pick an activity YOU LIKE and step out there.
5. Attend Events Specifically Tailored For Single People
Blind dates, singles night, I know the sound of them sucks. But you know what sucks even more according to many older, unhappy singles? Not having tried.
It’s perfectly normal to not want to look desperate. But that ‘normal’, for too long, is a hazard. Sticking to your comfort zone for too long is a hazard when God could very well have your significant other waiting just a step outside your comfort zone.
See in these seemingly uncomfortable events an opportunity to stretch you, or to increase your ability to understand other people. The bigger your heart, the bigger your ability to love.
By the time you’ve learned how to show empathy to everyone, you’ll have either attracted your One, met your One, or grown into the person he/she has been looking for.
Don’t put a cap on where God could orchestrate your meeting.
And finally, remember:
- Faith without action is dead.
- Humility precedes glory.
I’m waving your flag.
-Pat.
